Breaking the Cycle: Silence the Bully Within

Have You Ever Felt That You’re in an Abusive Relationship with Yourself?

You know, sometimes I feel like Me and I are stuck in this toxic loop. Like Me is the person who’s just trying to get through the day, and I... well, I can be a real bully.

I is the one saying, “Why did you mess that up? You’re so useless.” Or, “Of course, you failed, you’re not good enough.” And poor Me just takes it. Keeps going, pushing through, pretending it doesn’t hurt. But it does.

When I think about it, if someone else talked to Me the way I do, I’d tell them to get lost. But because it’s coming from inside my own head, it’s like I don’t even question it. It’s just... normal.

But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be. I’ve started catching I in the act, those moments when the criticism starts, and the words feel sharper than they need to be. I stop and ask myself, “Would I say this to someone I care about?” And when the answer is no (because it usually is), I try to say something kinder instead.

It’s not easy, though. I’m learning that it’s a process, like retraining I to be a friend instead of a bully. It’s about reminding Me that I deserve patience and encouragement, not endless judgment.

At the end of the day, the relationship between Me and I is the most important one I have. And if I can learn to be a little more compassionate, a little more forgiving, then maybe Me can finally feel like I’m enough.

It’s a work in progress, but I think it’s worth it. After all, if I wouldn’t let someone else treat me this way, why would I let Me and I keep doing it?