Supporting a Partner with Mental Health Challenges

Being in a relationship with someone who’s struggling with their mental health can be challenging and confusing. You may want to help, but it isn’t always clear how. Mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, or PTSD, are often misunderstood, and it can be hard to know the best way to offer support.

If your partner is experiencing mental health difficulties, it’s important to understand that they’re not just “having a bad day” or being overly sensitive. Mental health issues are complex and, just like physical illnesses, they require attention, care, and sometimes medical intervention.

What do mental health struggles look like?

Mental health conditions can take many forms; no two experiences are the same. While depression, anxiety, and PTSD are more commonly known examples, they represent only a small part of the wide range of mental health issues people may face. Conditions such as bipolar disorder, eating disorders, schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and borderline personality disorder, among others, are also very real and deeply challenging.

• Depression: This can involve persistent low moods, feelings of hopelessness, loss of interest in daily activities, fatigue, and even physical symptoms like headaches, sore muscles or stomach issues.

• Anxiety: People with anxiety may experience constant worry, restlessness, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, and physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, sweating, dizziness and even fainting.

• PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder): PTSD can arise after a traumatic experience and may involve flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, chronic fatigue, psychosomatic pain, severe anxiety, and avoidance of situations that remind the person of the trauma. It can feel like being trapped in a constant state of fight-or-flight.

These are just a few examples of the mental health challenges your partner might be facing, and it’s important to recognise that their symptoms are real and valid.

Here are some ways you can support your partner in a compassionate, understanding manner:

1. Listen Without Judgement: When your partner shares what they’re going through, it’s important to listen—really listen—without jumping to conclusions, and trying to fix or diminish their feelings. Mental health struggles are often accompanied by deep emotional and physical pain. Your partner may be feeling vulnerable, and dismissive comments, even with good intentions, can make them feel unheard or invalidated.

2. Acknowledge Their Experience: It’s common for someone with mental health difficulties to feel like their symptoms aren’t being taken seriously. Saying things like “It’ll go away on its own” or “Just get on with it” can be harmful, as it downplays the reality of what they’re experiencing. Acknowledging their experience by saying, “I can see this is really hard for you” can go a long way in making them feel supported.

3. Support Their Treatment Plan: Mental health conditions often require professional treatment, including medication, therapy, or a combination of both. It’s important to encourage your partner to follow their treatment plan and to trust the medical professionals guiding their care. Doubting the need for treatment or suggesting alternatives without medical advice can lead to unnecessary distress. Instead, reassure your partner that seeking help is a positive step, and offer to support them through it.

4. Avoid “Fixing” the Problem: It’s natural to want to solve your partner’s problems, but mental health isn’t something that can be fixed with quick advice or solutions. Instead of offering unsolicited suggestions, like “Maybe you should get out more” or “Just think positively,” ask how you can best support them. Sometimes, simply being there and listening is the most helpful thing you can do.

5. Understand That Recovery Takes Time: Mental health recovery isn’t always straightforward. Your partner may have good days and bad days, and that’s perfectly normal. Patience and understanding are key. Encourage them to take things one step at a time, and remind them that you’ll be there for them, no matter what.

6. Practice Empathy and Compassion: Think about how you would support your partner if they were dealing with a physical illness. Mental health struggles are just as real, even if you can’t see them. Empathy means putting yourself in their shoes and recognising that their feelings, no matter how difficult, are valid.

   
   

In the end, being a supportive partner to someone with mental health challenges is about being present, listening with an open heart, and showing love and encouragement. You don’t need to have all the answers, but by offering your care and understanding, you’re helping more than you might realise. Remember, it’s not about “fixing” them—it’s about walking with them on their journey, side by side.