The “I Wonder”: A Family Mindfulness Practice

We often feel as if we're navigating life on autopilot when we are overwhelmed by stress and worries, We might carry these burdens silently, missing out on the opportunity to address them openly and seek support.

One powerful way to alleviate this pressure is to engage in meaningful conversations with those we care about. By sharing what’s on our minds, we not only lighten our load but also strengthen our connections with others.

This article introduces a simple yet effective exercise designed to help you and your family become more aware of what’s troubling you, create a space for open dialogue, and find comfort and support together. Through this process, you can transform your worries into opportunities for understanding and growth.

Here’s how:

1. Create an “I Wonder” List: Sit down with your family and write a list of sentences starting with "I wonder." For example:

   • I wonder if I'll ever learn to cook.

   • I wonder if I'll ever be brave enough to try skateboarding.

   • I wonder what will happen to me/us in the future.

   • I wonder if my friend is still mad at me.

   • I wonder if my exam results will be good enough.

   At first, this exercise might feel unusual, but give it a go and see what happens.

2. Share and Reflect: Take turns reading your “I wonder” statements aloud to your family, without judgment or analysis. After each person reads their statement, they should complete it with one of the following:

   • "I need help/advice" (if they seek solutions)

   • "I just wanted you to know" (if they only want to share without seeking immediate solutions)

3. Discuss Solutions: For statements marked with "I need help/advice," wait until everyone has had a turn to share, then discuss potential solutions together.

4. Respect Boundaries: For statements marked with "I just wanted you to know," no discussion or solution is needed at that moment. Respect their wish to share only and do not push for further discussion. If a child shares something troubling, don’t pressure them to discuss it further in front of everyone. Instead, follow up privately to see if they want to talk more or need support.

5. Be Supportive: Be open with your own “I wonder” statements and ensure that everyone feels supported and understood.

   
   

Taking the time to share our thoughts and concerns through the "I Wonder" exercise opens doors to deeper connections and mutual support within our families. This practice not only helps us address our worries but also fosters an environment of empathy and understanding. Remember, the goal is not to solve problems but to acknowledge and validate each other’s feelings. By doing so, we create a space where everyone feels heard and supported. Embrace this practice regularly, and you’ll likely find that both your sense of well-being and your family relationships grow stronger. Here’s to a journey of openness, courage, and heartfelt connection.